Bittersweet

Is there anyone that really understands
And can quench this burning fire?
For in these restless thoughts and fears
Is this overwhelming desire
To have one who can take my hand
And help me through this maze
Of anger, bitterness, and – yes – hatred
And upon whose goodness I can gaze
So I seek and I search with reckless abandon
Never giving up on this quest
And passionately, with these words of mine
Pour out what my soul does express
I know I've blessed others with the simplicity
Of all that's been written here
But there are many days and nights
Where I wish that One were here
Who gives freely and without expectations
And desires that His love I should take
And I know that He is one who has promised
To never leave me nor forsake
So here I rest, once again I have failed
And He is standing there to meet
This lonesome pilgrim, walking on the path
Who knows what it means to be bittersweet

My Dreams

Through the mist I see her, she who haunts my dreams
Now nothing more than a silhouette, disappearing into the haze
Before, in the days hence, I knew her so very well
Like a beautiful angel, a goddess, enchanter of my heart
Who is she? Why does she now leave this place?
My soul aches for the way it was, for the wonders of before

For she was the one, the muse that gave me this gift
Her eyes were like glass, and within I discovered myself
The moonlight danced off her long hair, sparkling in the night
Upon her neck were chains of gold and silver. so precious
On her ears hung the stars and the sun, giving off their warmth
And her lips were as the petals of a rose, soft and pink

I remember her there, looking toward me with love
I desired to take her into my arms, to press against her tenderly
Yet my wish would evade, my hope confounded
For as quickly as she came, she would leave again
How I have searched, longingly like a thirsty dog
Panting and searching, aimlessly wandering through the woods

And I would see her, there again, but each time more dimly
Like a window being covered by the dust of the ages
Her face fading from my view, the memory of that day vanishing
No! No! No! I cannot give up hope! I will not lose my dream!
If I must I will give up everything! For I know that this is destiny
And, yet, like a tired old man, I collapse, knowing not the love

And she appears again, but this time not as a ghost
No, this time the angel returns to me as my one true love
She was right there all along, right in front of my eyes
Yet, in my blindness, I could not see her nor hear her voice
But now I know that she is real, so my hope is renewed
And I will not surrender my dreams again...
...not as long as I still have breath!

A New Beginning

Suffocating, no light, no air
Why does it besiege me so?
I cannot fight against it

No escape to find, no love
Will darkness now steal my joy?
Deeper and deeper I sink

All sounds cease, there is silence
Why can I not find my egress?
My body is crushed by rock

The weight of my soul, so great
Yet cannot even love find release?
Another day in this grave

A sound! I heard a sound!
Why does my mind so debauch me?
For too long I've been here

I must not think such things
For can there be a release from this?
I know not, so I shall die

Again! It sounds like a drum
Is this what a beating heart is like?
It echoes within my head.

Louder, stronger, dissolving silence
Can it be, this passion has been kindled?
Perhaps there is yet a new hope

A light, through this tomb I see
No, this cannot be real, can it?
Yet I believe that I see the sun

My arm reaches out, it moves freely
But is this what my heart truly desires?
I've known only the silence for so long

There are so many voices
Should I climb out to behold this?
But I fear leaving what I know well

No! I must now go, to be free
How could I stay in darkness so long?
The fresh air fills my lungs aplenty

Now I must go forth, into this life
Will I consider my past as if it never occured?
No, it must always be remembered

My lesson is well received, I am exhumed
Was that a glimpse of the hell that awaits?
Pity those who never desire escape

So now I set free my mind, my soul
How much more have I kept concealed?
Time will disclose all that was buried

Rain

Rain, washing away the old, bringing out the new
Rain, clearing my senses, my spirit it renews

Water, flows over my face, cooling my skin
Water, clear and refreshing, a healing now begins

Soak, drenched with the flow, filled with joy
Soak, oh what rapture!, to feel like a young boy

Dance, run under the drops, let the gentle breeze blow
Dance, naked in the moonlight, to You my joy I show

Submerge, carried under the tide, swept into peace
Submerge, close my eyes, as all my cares I release

Float, the clouds disappear, the sun shines on my face
Float, feeling the warmth, wrapped in this liquid embrace

Dry, leaving this moment, yet feeling renewed within
Dry, this day may now end, but a better tomorrow will soon begin

The Journey

Ever wavering, wandering, seeking
The quest for happiness is elusive
As I look within myself for joy
There is nothing but an empty shell

It is like an old tin can
Without content and rusting
O' to have something to fill it
T'would be my greatest thrill

But I endeavor after that one thing
That cannot be attained by men
A penchant for unbridled pleasures
Many seek, but none shall find

For it is in the journey
And not in the destination
That our true happiness is found
And that is all that has meaning

For when we at last have our desire
When our hands can cleave to it
Then we no longer have need
And our hearts long for something new

We must always press onward
Forward into the great unknown
Never dwelling on the past
But ever seeking life's adventures

Then when the destination nears
And our bodies have grown weary
Will we finally, fully understand
That we were truly happy with life

And we can reflect upon the journey
As something that had great meaning
For the adventures we experienced
Are more valuable than gold

So live without regret for the past
Of dreams unfulfilled and wishes lost
Instead fix your eyes forward
And follow the open road to the next crossing

The Flower

In all the Earth, and over all the land
Lies many a beautiful flower
With petals so fair and gentle

They flourish in the soil, displaying their beauty
Gently moving in the misty breeze
With colours that light up the day

So amazing is their spendour, so delicate their touch
Yet it penetrates deep to the soul
Rejuvenating the spiritual energy within

It is this one thing I know, this one absolute
There is nothing greater than a flower
Especially one as fair as I behold

New Energy

To find a friend is to find yourself
To share your heart is to release your soul
To care and feel is a power that grows
Into an energy that is without control

Tonight I have this one thing to say
As we converse and discover these things
My hope is that a new fire has ignited
And new happiness is what it brings

Light

In the light, all we see is the beauty of life
In the brightness, there are colours that shine
In the sun, is the energy to beat all strife
In the glow, are many hearts that are intertwined

Without light, we have nothing but darkness
Without the brightness, all we see are shades of grey
Without the sun, our energy would regress
Without a glow, life would slowly fade away

Bask in the light
Rejoice in the brightness
Soak up the sun
And embrace the glow

Kindred Souls

Where? Where is the beginning?
Is it here and now, or is it then?
How do I know when to start
When I seem to fear the end?

But now I know there is nothing
Not a care that I should sustain
And the worries of my past
Are a mere shadow of my pain

A pain that I bore for too long
Knowing that my heart longed
Desiring naught but friendship
That would spark a new song

Forever is a long time
A long time to have lived apart
Yet time flies much faster
When it's shared with another heart

A friend is one who cares
This is what I have always been told
Perhaps this is the hope I have
Love, in all its wonder, shan't grow cold

But I will not lose sight this time
Of my one goal, my destiny
Instead I will continue to hold fast
To the promise of true ecstasy

Which can only be unleashed in the passing of two kindred souls...

That know that in their hearts...
And that have accepted in their minds...
And have promised themselves true...
To themselves and their deepest secrets

Happiness is...
(with apologies to Charles Shultz)

Happiness is feeling the gentle breezes caress your face on an Autumn day
Happiness is sharing a day with someone that makes you feel special
Happiness is touching the furry back of a caterpillar as it crawls across your arm
Happiness is being swept away by the fragrant aroma of wildflowers in bloom
Happiness is hearing the sound of your best friend laughing at your bad puns
Happiness is tasting a food you've not tried before and enjoying it
Happiness is being surprised by a small gift from your child
Happiness is jumping into a cool river and letting the current carry you downstream
Happiness is a bear hug when you are feeling down
Happiness is finding things that make you happy and sharing them with others!

A Love Lost

Restless, unsettled, anxious, in doubt
Every time, yet forward I quest, in hope
I see nothing that is certain or clear
So I just climb onward, on this steep slope

Sometimes the fear is too great
My soul becomes downtrodden and weak
For every light that has e'er shown
Has not illuminated the one that I seek

Wretched darkness, filling my mind
Causing me to stumble again
But I have much strength, from whence I know not
That has sparked this new fire within

Perhaps I shall at last perceive
That destiny for which I have long sought
A place at last where my companion awaits
Or is this another journey, all for naught?

NO! I shan't let these thoughts corrupt
Nor let my anxieties rule my heart
I shall cast aside this doubt and fear
As they seek to do nothing but tear me apart

So here I am, battered and bruised
Looking up from this desert land
Hoping to see the face of my lost love
And to feel, at last, the touch of her hand

Many Questions

Why does the sun's warmth bring such happiness to our soul?
Why do the springs rains cause our emotions to stir?
Why is the joy of a clear blue sky a feeling that cannot be explained?
Why is the sound of a child's laugh so pleasant to our hearts?
Can these questions be answered?
Are there any words that can describe?
Will someone without love attempt it?
Or are these questions that have no reply?
Why is it easy to feel love for someone, yet not be able to express it?
Why will one person see beauty where another would be repulsed?
Why are simple pleasures so easy to find, yet few truly desire them?
Why can one woman bring so much joy to a man without even trying?
Where are the answers to these questions?
Can someone please show me the way?
Am I the only one that is without any clues?
Why are my thoughts in such disarray?
So I seek and I search and ponder these questions
Knowing that there are no answers, wrong or right
It's not that these questions have no meaning
Instead it is in feeling, not knowing, that we delight